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README.md

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-# The Tabloid Programming Language
+# The Tabloid Programming Language 💣
 
-A minimal programming language ~inspired~ **supercharged** by clickbait headlines.
+**Tabloid** is a minimal but Turing complete programming language inspired, nay, **supercharged** by clickbait headlines that rule the Internet today.
 
+![Tabloid website screenshot](static/img/screenshot.jpg)
 
+Tabloid is quite small -- it only supports number, string, and boolean values at the moment, and have semantics that match JavaScript since JavaScript is used to implement the language backend. But it's good enough for a joke language made in six hours, so I'm rollin' with it.
+
+## Language overview
+
+You can find the complete list of special Tabloid keywords on [the Tabloid website](https://tabloid.thesephist.vercel.app).
+
+Tabloid has an expression-based grammar, and lacks any distinction between expressions and statements. If there isn't an explicit return from a function, the last expression's value will be returned.
+
+Here are some primitive values in Tabloid: numbers, strings, booleans
+
+```
+100
+3.141592
+.718
+'Hello, World!'
+TOTALLY RIGHT
+COMPLETELY WRONG
+```
+
+The last two -- `TOTALLY RIGHT` and `COMPLETELY WRONG` -- are how we write `true` and `false` in Tabloid.
+
+Tabloid supports binary infix operators for arithmetic and logic.
+
+```
+(3 TIMES 5) PLUS (20 DIVIDED BY 7)
+(x IS ACTUALLY 3.1415) OR COMPLETELY WRONG
+```
+
+`IS ACTUALLY` is a way to test equality, like `==` in most other languages. We can also make comparisons with `X BEATS Y` (`x > y`) and `X SMALLER THAN Y` (`x < y`).
+
+We can print the result of any expression with `YOU WON'T WANT TO MISS`
+
+```
+YOU WON'T WANT TO MISS 'Hello, World!'
+```
+
+We define functions with `DISCOVER HOW TO functionName WITH arguments, like, this`. We can call them with the `OF` keyword.
+
+```
+DISCOVER HOW TO speak WITH message
+RUMOR HAS IT
+    YOU WON'T WANT TO MISS message
+END OF STORY
+
+speak OF 'Hello!'
+```
+
+Lastly, Tabloid has conditional expressions in the form of an if-else, which is written like...
+
+```
+WHAT IF condition
+    doIfThing
+LIES!
+    doElseThing
+```
+
+We can have multi-line bodies in the `doIfThing` and `doElseThing` sections by creating a new scope, delimited by `RUMOR HAS IT` and `END OF STORY`. `LIES!` is optional.
+
+```
+WHAT IF condition RUMOR HAS IT
+    do
+    many
+    things
+END OF STORY
+```
+
+The entire interpreter is contained in a single file, `static/js/lang.js`, and pretty straightforward. Due to the, *ahem*, unusual syntax of Tabloid, there are four layers, which includes a double-pass tokenizer.
+
+## How to use
+
+Please don't.
+
+## Limitations
+
+Tabloid's syntax has some (soft) limitations for now, because I had ~8 hours to finish it. Here are some of them:
+
+- The parser doesn't know about operator precedence. To chain infix operators together like `3 PLUS 2 TIMES 10`, use parentheses, like `3 PLUS (2 TIMES 10)`.
+- There isn't very good error reporting. If there is an error during parsing or at runtime, the interpreter will currently report an error and what went wrong, but won't tell you where it messed up and will reveal interpreter implementation details.
+
+Tabloid also doesn't have comments, because... I honestly forgot about them when I made this and only remembered like 7 hours in, and I got lazy. If this bothers you for some insane reason, feel free to make a pull request... I guess.