diff --git a/static/css/main.css b/static/css/main.css
index 8bb8b6d..bb63995 100644
--- a/static/css/main.css
+++ b/static/css/main.css
@@ -5,6 +5,13 @@ html {
     font-size: 18px;
 }
 
+/* blocks.css bug shim */
+
+.fixed.inline.block {
+    pointer-events: none;
+    line-height: 1.5em;
+}
+
 /* resets */
 
 html,
@@ -58,15 +65,21 @@ footer {
 
 nav {
     margin: .8em 0;
+    width: 96%;
+    max-width: 400px;
+    display: flex;
+    flex-direction: row;
+    align-items: center;
+    justify-content: space-between;
 }
 
 nav a {
     color: var(--block-accent-color);
-    margin: 0 1em;
 }
 
 header .subtitle {
     font-size: 1.2em;
+    line-height: 1.5em;
 }
 
 header .lang.block {
@@ -77,7 +90,7 @@ header .lang.block {
     font-weight: normal;
     color: #fff;
     display: inline-block; /* for transforms */
-    transform: rotate(-10deg);
+    transform: rotate(-10deg) translateY(6px);
     pointer-events: none;
 }
 
@@ -92,7 +105,7 @@ header .lang.block {
 .editor .output,
 .editor .errors {
     width: 100%;
-    padding: .5em 1em;
+    padding: .8em 1em;
     border-bottom: 3px solid var(--block-text-color);
     box-sizing: border-box;
 }
@@ -103,6 +116,7 @@ header .lang.block {
 
 .editor.block {
     padding: 0;
+    padding-top: 24px;
 }
 
 .editor .controls {
@@ -118,6 +132,11 @@ header .lang.block {
     justify-content: flex-end;
 }
 
+.editor .code {
+    padding: 0;
+    position: relative;
+}
+
 .editor .output {
     min-height: 5em;
     display: flex;
@@ -130,11 +149,6 @@ header .lang.block {
     width: 100%;
 }
 
-.editor .code {
-    padding: 0;
-    position: relative;
-}
-
 .editor .errors {
     color: var(--block-accent-color);
 }
@@ -178,6 +192,40 @@ textarea.editor-input:focus {
     color: #777;
 }
 
+main > h2 {
+    margin-top: 1.5em;
+}
+
+main > p,
+main > ul li {
+    line-height: 1.5em;
+}
+
+main > ul li {
+    margin-bottom: .5em;
+}
+
+main > p a {
+    color: var(--block-accent-color);
+}
+
+footer {
+    margin-top: 2em;
+}
+
 footer a {
     color: var(--block-accent-color);
 }
+
+@media only screen and (max-width: 600px) {
+    header .subtitle {
+        line-height: 1.7em;
+    }
+    header .lang.block {
+        transform: rotate(-5deg) translateY(4px);
+    }
+    .filler,
+    textarea.editor-input {
+        font-size: .8em;
+    }
+}
diff --git a/static/js/main.js b/static/js/main.js
index 3815538..7ff59b0 100644
--- a/static/js/main.js
+++ b/static/js/main.js
@@ -1,4 +1,6 @@
-const PROG_DEFAULT = `DISCOVER HOW TO factorial WITH n
+const PROG_DEFAULT = `YOU WON'T WANT TO MISS 'Hello, World!'
+
+DISCOVER HOW TO factorial WITH n
 WE SAID
     WHAT IF n IS ACTUALLY 0
     WE SAID
@@ -10,7 +12,7 @@ WE SAID
 END OF STORY
 
 EXPERTS CLAIM result TO BE factorial OF 10
-YOU WON'T WANT TO MISS 'RESULT IS'
+YOU WON'T WANT TO MISS 'Result is'
 YOU WON'T WANT TO MISS result
 
 PLEASE LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE`;
@@ -21,6 +23,7 @@ const HEADLINES = [
     `Shocking New Programming Language Bewilders Programmers at Google and Facebook!`,
     `Programmer Who Made Everything Now Predicts the Next Big Language!`,
     `The Secret Programming Language Every 10x Programmer Recommends!`,
+    `Programmers at Microsoft Hate This One Trick to Get Good at that Code Thing!`,
 ];
 
 function randomHeadline() {
@@ -56,7 +59,7 @@ class Editor extends Component {
             const nodes = new Parser(tokens).parse();
             const env = new Environment({
                 print: s => {
-                    this.output += s.toString() + '\n';
+                    this.output += s.toString().toUpperCase() + '!\n';
                     this.render();
                 },
             });
@@ -73,7 +76,7 @@ class Editor extends Component {
                     jdom`<button class="block"
                         onclick=${this.handleReset}>Reset</button>`}
                 <button class="accent block"
-                    onclick=${this.handleRun}>Run!</button>
+                    onclick=${this.handleRun}>Run this!</button>
             </div>
             <div class="code">
                 <div class="filler">
@@ -109,6 +112,10 @@ class App extends Component {
                 <nav>
                     <a href="https://github.com/thesephist/tabloid"
                         target="_blank" noopener noreferer>GitHub</a>
+                    <a href="#" onclick=${evt => {
+                        evt.preventDefault();
+                        this.render();
+                    }}>Rewrite headline!</a>
                     <a href="https://dotink.co/posts/tabloid/"
                         target="_blank" noopener noreferer>Blog post</a>
                 </nav>
@@ -118,11 +125,92 @@ class App extends Component {
             </header>
             ${this.editor.node}
             <h2>What?</h2>
+            <p>
+                <strong>Tabloid</strong> is a turing-complete programming
+                language for writing programs in the style of clickbait news
+                headlines.
+            </p>
+            <p>
+                Here are <strike>a few things</strike>${' '}<strong>the Top Five
+                Most Popular Quirks and Features</strong> of the Tabloid
+                programming language <strong>(Number Four Will Shock You!)</strong>
+            </p>
+            <ul>
+                <li>
+                    Print output with the keywords <code class="inline
+                    fixed block">YOU WON'T WANT TO MISS</code> followed by an
+                    expression. Everything printed by Tabloid is
+                    <strong>automatically capitalized, and an exclamation point is
+                    added.</strong> Why would you want anything else?
+                </li>
+                <li>
+                    Declare a function by writing <code class="inline fixed
+                    block">DISCOVER HOW TO ... WITH</code>. Truly, a more
+                    gripping way to declare a function can't possibly exist!
+                </li>
+                <li>
+                    Assign to a variable by writing <code class="inline fixed
+                    block">EXPERTS CLAIM ... TO BE</code>. On the Internet,
+                    anyone can be an expert, and Tabloid gives YOU the power to
+                    wield that responsibility and declare anything you'd like!
+                </li>
+                <li>
+                    To return from a function, simply write <code class="inline
+                    fixed block">SHOCKING DEVELOPMENT</code>! You're going
+                    to—gasp!—<strong>return</strong>? How shocking!
+                </li>
+                <li>
+                    Every program must end with <code
+                    class="inline fixed block">PLEASE LIKE AND
+                    SUBSCRIBE</code>, because you have to grow your audience! <strong>Hashtag hustle</strong>.
+                </li>
+            </ul>
             <h2>But why?</h2>
+            <p>
+                Didn't want to do homework for my
+                <a href="https://cs186berkeley.net/" target="_blank">database
+                systems class</a>, and needed something to do to procrastinate.
+                Will I finish the homework? Did I get enough sleep?
+            </p>
+            <p>Stay tuned to find out!</p>
             <h2>Does it actually work?</h2>
+            <p>
+                Yes. Tabloid is a <strong>fully functioning, turing complete
+                programming language with an interpreter</strong> written in
+                JavaScript.  Tabloid currently only supports numbers, strings,
+                and booleans, but with these elements, you can write any
+                program you'd want to write. You can edit and run the program above, or
+                <a href="https://github.com/thesephist/tabloid">see how it works for yourself</a>.
+            </p>
+            <p>
+                Before making Tabloid, I also created a more <strike>useful and
+                well-designed</strike>${' '}<strong>boring and unpopular</strong>
+                programming language, called <a href="https://dotink.co/"
+                target="_blank">Ink</a>.
+            </p>
+            <h2>How much is there?</h2>
+            <p>
+            Here's the full list of non-standard keywords that Tabloid
+            currently uses, in addition to standard operators like <code
+            class="inline fixed block">PLUS</code> and <code class="inline
+            fixed block">MINUS</code>.
+            </p>
+            <ul>
+                <li><code class="inline fixed block">DISCOVER HOW TO...WITH</code> declare a function</li>
+                <li><code class="inline fixed block">WE SAID</code> begin a block scope</li>
+                <li><code class="inline fixed block">A OF B, C</code> call function A with arguments B, C</li>
+                <li><code class="inline fixed block">WHAT IF...LIES!</code> an if-else expression</li>
+                <li><code class="inline fixed block">END OF STORY</code> end a block scope</li>
+                <li><code class="inline fixed block">EXPERTS CLAIM...TO BE</code> declare or assign to a variable</li>
+                <li><code class="inline fixed block">YOU WON'T WANT TO MISS</code> print output</li>
+                <li><code class="inline fixed block">IS ACTUALLY</code> is equal to</li>
+                <li><code class="inline fixed block">BEATS / SMALLER THAN</code> greater than / less than</li>
+                <li><code class="inline fixed block">SHOCKING DEVELOPMENT</code> return from a function</li>
+                <li><code class="inline fixed block">PLEASE LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE</code> end of program</li>
+            </ul>
             <footer>
                 <p>
-                    Tabloid is a project by
+                    Tabloid is an overnight hack by
                     <a href="https://thesephist.com/">@thesephist</a>,
                     website built with
                     <a href="https://github.com/thesephist/torus">Torus</a>