247 lines
10 KiB
JavaScript
247 lines
10 KiB
JavaScript
const PROG_DEFAULT = `YOU WON'T WANT TO MISS 'Hello, World!'
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DISCOVER HOW TO factorial WITH n
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WE SAID
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WHAT IF n IS ACTUALLY 0
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WE SAID
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SHOCKING DEVELOPMENT 1
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END OF STORY
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LIES! WE SAID
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SHOCKING DEVELOPMENT n MULTIPLY factorial OF n SUBTRACT 1
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END OF STORY
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END OF STORY
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EXPERTS CLAIM result TO BE factorial OF 10
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YOU WON'T WANT TO MISS 'Result is'
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YOU WON'T WANT TO MISS result
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PLEASE LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE`;
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const HEADLINES = [
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`You Won't Believe What This Programming Language Can Do!`,
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`The Best Programming Language You Haven't Heard Of (It Will Surprise You!)`,
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`Shocking New Programming Language Bewilders Programmers at Google and Facebook!`,
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`Programmer Who Made Everything Now Predicts the Next Big Language!`,
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`The Secret Programming Language Every 10x Programmer Recommends!`,
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`Programmers at Microsoft Hate This One Trick to Get Good at that Code Thing!`,
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];
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function randomHeadline() {
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return HEADLINES[~~(Math.random() * HEADLINES.length)];
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}
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const {
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Component,
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} = window.Torus;
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class Editor extends Component {
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init() {
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this.prog = PROG_DEFAULT;
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// script appends to it
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this.output = '';
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this.errors = '';
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this.handleRun = () => this.eval();
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this.handleReset = () => {
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this.prog = PROG_DEFAULT;
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this.render();
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}
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this.handleInput = evt => {
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this.prog = evt.target.value;
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this.render();
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}
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this.handleKeydown = evt => {
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if (evt.key === 'Tab') {
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evt.preventDefault();
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const idx = evt.target.selectionStart;
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if (idx !== null) {
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const front = this.prog.substr(0, idx);
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const back = this.prog.substr(idx);
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this.prog = front + ' ' + back;
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this.render();
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evt.target.setSelectionRange(idx + 4, idx + 4);
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}
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}
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}
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}
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eval() {
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this.output = '';
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this.errors = '';
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try {
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const tokens = tokenize(this.prog);
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const nodes = new Parser(tokens).parse();
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const env = new Environment({
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print: s => {
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this.output += s.toString().toUpperCase() + '!\n';
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this.render();
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},
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});
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env.run(nodes);
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} catch (e) {
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this.errors = e.toString();
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}
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this.render();
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}
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compose() {
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return jdom`<div class="editor fixed block">
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<div class="controls">
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${this.prog === PROG_DEFAULT ? null :
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jdom`<button class="block"
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onclick=${this.handleReset}>Reset</button>`}
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<button class="accent block"
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onclick=${this.handleRun}>Run this!</button>
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</div>
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<div class="code">
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<div class="filler">
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${this.prog.split('\n')
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.map(line => jdom`<p>${line.trim() ? line : '-'}</p>`)}
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</div>
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<textarea class="editor-input" cols="30" rows="10"
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value=${this.prog}
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oninput=${this.handleInput}
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onkeydown=${this.handleKeydown}>
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</textarea>
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</div>
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<div class="output">
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${this.output ? this.output
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.split('\n')
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.map(line => jdom`<code class="output-line">${line}</code>`)
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: jdom`<code class="no-output">No output.</code>`}
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</div>
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${this.errors ? jdom`<div class="errors">
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${this.errors.split('\n').map(line => jdom`<code>${line}</code>`)}
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</div>` : null}
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</div>`;
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}
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}
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class App extends Component {
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init() {
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this.editor = new Editor();
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}
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compose() {
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return jdom`<main>
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<header>
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<h1>${randomHeadline()}</h1>
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<nav>
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<a href="https://github.com/thesephist/tabloid"
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target="_blank" noopener noreferer>GitHub</a>
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<a href="#" onclick=${evt => {
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evt.preventDefault();
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this.render();
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}}>NEW headline!</a>
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<a href="https://dotink.co/posts/tabloid/"
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target="_blank" noopener noreferer>Blog post</a>
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</nav>
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<p class="subtitle">
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<strong class="lang fixed inline block">Tabloid:</strong> The Clickbait Headline Programming Language
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</p>
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</header>
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${this.editor.node}
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<h2>What?</h2>
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<p>
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<strong>Tabloid</strong> is a turing-complete programming
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language for writing programs in the style of clickbait news
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headlines.
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</p>
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<p>
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Here are <strike>a few things</strike>${' '}<strong>the Top Five
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Most Popular Quirks and Features</strong> of the Tabloid
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programming language <strong>(Number Four Will Shock You!)</strong>
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</p>
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<ul>
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<li>
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Print output with the keywords <code class="inline
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fixed block">YOU WON'T WANT TO MISS</code> followed by an
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expression. Everything printed by Tabloid is
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<strong>automatically capitalized, and an exclamation point is
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added.</strong> Why would you want anything else?
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</li>
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<li>
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Declare a function by writing <code class="inline fixed
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block">DISCOVER HOW TO ... WITH</code>. Truly, a more
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gripping way to declare a function can't possibly exist!
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Similarly, assign to a variable with <code class="inline fixed
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block">EXPERTS CLAIM ... TO BE</code>. On the Internet,
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anyone can be an expert, and Tabloid gives YOU the power to
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wield that responsibility and declare anything you'd like!
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</li>
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<li>
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There are <strong>no built-in constructs for looping</strong>. The news
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cycle is moving too fast! Nobody has time for yesterday's
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loops or last week's break statements. If you must loop,
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use recursion.
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</li>
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<li>
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To return from a function, simply write <code class="inline
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fixed block">SHOCKING DEVELOPMENT</code>! You're going
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to—gasp!—<strong>return</strong>? How shocking!
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</li>
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<li>
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Every program must end with <code
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class="inline fixed block">PLEASE LIKE AND
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SUBSCRIBE</code>, because you have to grow your audience! <strong>Hashtag hustle</strong>.
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</li>
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</ul>
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<h2>But why?</h2>
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<p>
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Didn't want to do homework for my
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<a href="https://cs186berkeley.net/" target="_blank">database
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systems class</a>, and needed something to do to procrastinate.
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Will I finish the homework? Did I get enough sleep?
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</p>
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<p>Stay tuned to find out!</p>
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<h2>Does it actually work?</h2>
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<p>
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Yes. Tabloid is a <strong>fully functioning, turing complete
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programming language with an interpreter</strong> written in
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JavaScript. Tabloid currently only supports numbers, strings,
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and booleans, but with these elements, you can write any
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program you'd want to write. You can edit and run the program above, or
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<a href="https://github.com/thesephist/tabloid">see how it works for yourself</a>.
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</p>
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<p>
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Before making Tabloid, I also created a more <strike>useful and
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well-designed</strike>${' '}<strong>boring and unpopular</strong>
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programming language, called <a href="https://dotink.co/"
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target="_blank">Ink</a>.
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</p>
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<h2>How much is there?</h2>
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<p>
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Here's the full list of non-standard keywords that Tabloid
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currently uses, in addition to standard operators like <code
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class="inline fixed block">PLUS</code> and <code class="inline
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fixed block">MINUS</code>.
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</p>
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<ul>
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<li><code class="inline fixed block">DISCOVER HOW TO...WITH</code> declare a function</li>
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<li><code class="inline fixed block">WE SAID</code> begin a block scope</li>
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<li><code class="inline fixed block">A OF B, C</code> call function A with arguments B, C</li>
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<li><code class="inline fixed block">WHAT IF...LIES!</code> an if-else expression</li>
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<li><code class="inline fixed block">END OF STORY</code> end a block scope</li>
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<li><code class="inline fixed block">EXPERTS CLAIM...TO BE</code> declare or assign to a variable</li>
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<li><code class="inline fixed block">YOU WON'T WANT TO MISS</code> print output</li>
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<li><code class="inline fixed block">TOTALLY RIGHT</code> true</li>
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<li><code class="inline fixed block">COMPLETELY WRONG</code> false</li>
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<li><code class="inline fixed block">IS ACTUALLY</code> is equal to</li>
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<li><code class="inline fixed block">BEATS / SMALLER THAN</code> greater than / less than</li>
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<li><code class="inline fixed block">SHOCKING DEVELOPMENT</code> return from a function</li>
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<li><code class="inline fixed block">PLEASE LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE</code> end of program</li>
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</ul>
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<footer>
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<p>
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Tabloid is an overnight hack by
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<a href="https://thesephist.com/">@thesephist</a>,
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website built with
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<a href="https://github.com/thesephist/torus">Torus</a>
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and
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<a href="https://thesephist.github.io/blocks.css/">blocks.css</a>.
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</p>
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</footer>
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</main>`;
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}
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}
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const app = new App();
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document.body.appendChild(app.node);
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